Running…a great way to lie down

Hello Everyone!

So i have decided to go wild this year and enter a marathon. This is despite the fact my knees should probably belong to someone 40 years my senior, my ankles despise impact and there is a very good reason why people say swimmers don’t make good runners. I guess I’m just a little bit masochistic. That, and it gives me an excuse to stay in the horizontal position for longer periods of time if my legs seize up.

The reason? I find sport is a good way to test myself. To push my limits. It is an easy indicator for me to look at myself in the middle of an extreme activity and go “…yup, Emily you are bat shit crazy.” It’s confirmed. Hey, at least it’s a healthy way of falling off the wagon.

In 2014 i completed a 104 mile bike ride for charity with over 7,000 feet of incline, and i felt crazy the whole way around the hellish course. But i finished it, swore that bananas and jelly babies were food for the gods, and then turned my attention to the next mission. A marathon. It is on the bucket list, and has suitable levels of masochistic pain.

Next comes the training. I’m not unfit, and i can easily run 10km without a problem. My problem is my attention span. I’m one of those people that gets distracted by shiny objects. Long periods of exercise without some form of stimulation are monotonous and dreary. Music is my lifeline. I will be that weird runner you come across on a trail in the middle of the forest that is half dancing as they gallop by, or mouthing ridiculous lyrics as they veer to avoid your exuberant dog.

My other problem? Pacing. I’ll chug away like a sports car at the starting line, full of boundless enthusiasm and over eagerness. By the middle, i will be crawling on all fours and reflecting on poor life decisions. At the end, i would sheepishly be back to an acceptable running speed. Maybe i require meditation while dying in the horizontal position.

If you have any interesting running songs, please feel free to share. I need all the help i can get.

See you tomorrow (probably in the horizontal position),

Emily Jemma


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